trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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