so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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