Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
