Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
