Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
worst night to have a conscience
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
