I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Banned from zoo.
Again?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
