You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
50% drunk capacity currently
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
