so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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