Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
