if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
