who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
