i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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