i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
