I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
