sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
