Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
