If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
