she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
