fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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