If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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