There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
