I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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