The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
