Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
