Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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