It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
