Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
