You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
