I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
