He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
