what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
