to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
