I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
