omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
