I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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