We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i drank out of a bidet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
