You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
