You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
