i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
