you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
