C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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