I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
