I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
