Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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