So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
