yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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