chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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