Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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