Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
