I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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