I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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