Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
