problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
