is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
