I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize