it was like eating out sand paper
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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